Dear Universe,
(Sidenote: you can tell that this is going to be an especially good blog post, due to the fact that I have directly addressed the entirety of everything, which is unbeatable by any bloggy standards)
I have a bone to pick with you, universe. You have royally pissed me off. For those who know me, that's a very difficult thing to do. You can tick me off, you can make me frustrated, you can annoy me until I threaten to break your fingers and/or hand (you know who you are), but you cannot piss me off. And yet, somehow, universe, you have done it. Screw you.
Today I realized that there is a very slim chance that I will ever see one of my friends again after I leave Flagstaff for the unfathomable wilderness that is Pittsburgh (it's a concrete jungle, except it isn't as jungle-y as New York or Chicago). By "ever see", I don't mean "see you next Christmas break!" or "maybe I'll accidentally run into you at Safeway and we'll talk for about five minutes!". I mean, completely, NEVER SEE AGAIN. She no longer has family in Flagstaff, and unless I was going to U of A (where she is attending, and where, up until about 36 hours ago, I was pretty sure I was attending as well), our paths would probably never cross. That means, counting today, I have approximately 52 days (including weekends) of which I will see her. We could make plans over the summer, but honestly that's so up in the air that it would be impossible to guess how much time would be spent with any one person, not even mentioning any summer trips/jobs I would be partaking in.
So, here's the sucky truth: this is all your fault, universe. You have added yet one more thing onto my list of things that I am not okay with having changed. "The future's so bright" my ass.
I've decided, for your convenience Mr. 42, to provide you with a list of ways that you could make this better.
1.) Fix it (I don't know how, but I figure it wouldn't hurt to leave it open for interpretation. You are all knowing, after all).
2.) Through freak accident, my friend is suddenly struck down by a painful and debilitating illness, which will, of course, result in her being transferred to the Pittsburgh Medical Center across the country, as they have the most innovative (bear with me) treatments, at which point I would be at her bedside and we could talk about, among other things, the sucky weather of Pittsburgh (not that I wish such a painful thing upon her, but this scenario would solve my problem).
3.) Fix it (yeah, I know. I wanted a longer list. Sue me.)
4.) Constantly give me cosmic reminders to keep in contact with my friend, because I suck at that. This could be in the form of (but not limited to): lightning bolts from the heavens (or other assorted smite-ings), her name floating up to the surface of my bowl of alphabet soup, having my life saved by several blondes who then proceed to worry about my feelings (this may seem only loosely connected, but I really prefer this sign-from-above over the others), and/or a crazy roommate the forces me to spend unnaturally long amounts of time "checking my email" rather than socializing with him.
5.) Through a strange coincidence, have us cross paths in the future. This could be on vacation or in one of our hometowns (you could even have us move to the same town unknowingly), but it should be a place where we could meet and talk for a significant amount of time.
I hope I have been clear with you, universe. I wouldn't want to be forced to get mean. And oh, I can get mean. Don't test me.
You're friend and forever your undying servant (unless you, y'know, piss me off again),
RJ
(P.S.: Sorry for wishing debilitating illness on you, friend).
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